peaces

So Niller has come and gone. We had a great summer of movies, pool adventures, bodyboarding, video making, BlogTV, stickam and beach volleyball. It’s hard to believe she was here for seven weeks. I feel like she just arrived maybe a week or two ago.  Time flies.

I haven’t been posting in here because I’ve been spending most of my online time in the YouTube community. I know I should post every video I upload over here but I forget…often.

I’ve been doing a weekly show with another YouTuber every Monday morning. We just started so we’re still trying to find our groove.  So far it’s been an interesting experiment.  I have to see if our big camera will act as a webcam so I can do live music shows.  That’s what folks are asking for.  And that would be great to do. Right now, my new webcam, while it has decent picture quality, the microphone just sucks.  And my computer is almost four years old so the mic jack is jacked.

We’ll see what I can figure out.

I’m a tiny bit envious of the YouTubers who are in Toronto for the 8-8-8 gathering this weekend.  But I have such low ambition today that I might have slept through all the events.

Bodyboarding is my new favorite thing to do in Los Angeles.  I’m saving for my own bodyboard, fins and a wet-shirt. Maybe a wetsuit.  At least the shirt because I wore a bikini top my first time out and came back a little roughed up.  I was slammed by the ocean pretty hard my first day out too.  But that didn’t stop me from going two days later.  I’d go again today if I had my own bodyboard.  Soon though.

More again soon.  Is everyone enjoying summer?  Or winter, depending on your location.

If you haven’t heard, Los Angeles county had an earthquake this morning.

Just a quick check-in to let you know we’re all ok! We were in separate places — I was at work, PBX and Niller are working on a film set and the animals were home. Cell service was down for about an hour.  But thanks to Twitter, we were able to get messages to each other — well, not to the dogs. Amazing that we could send/receive messages from all parts of the world but could not get hold of anyone just a few miles away.

This earthquake was a good one. I was working at a client’s office - in a tall building, swinging and swaying for 30 seconds. Enough time to twitter: EARTHQUAKE RIGHT NOW.  haha - priorities you know?

Having been through the ‘94 quake, I learned how to gauge the magnitude. So while we were rockin-n-rollin, I called out, “This is a good one - at least a five, depending on where it’s located!”

It’s been a long while since I’ve felt a decent sized earthquake.  I like these rolly quakes much better than those jolting, bangy quakes. Less stressful, if you can believe that.

I just got home and the animals are just fine. As a matter of fact, I forgot we had an earthquake and just did a once-over. Nothing seems out of place.

If you want to know what’s going on with me at any time, you can follow me here.

Will keep you posted if there’s anything further. But I haven’t even felt a single one of the aftershocks.  We live 35 miles from the epicenter. Here’s a good link if you want to find real-time earthquake information.

I keep meaning to update in here but I get so caught up in the world of video that by the time I have a free moment, I’m writing another sketch comedy or collaborating with other YouTubers.  Time is also spent watching The Shaycarl Party on BlogTV.  Or hopping into an EmptyIsAwesome chat on stickam.  I’m not there as often as I was when I first started but still, if someone sends me a link and says, “Hey, come say hi to us,” it’s easy to just click and go.  Last night it took me away from editing and converting video.

This collaborative project we’re working on this weekend is becoming a little more involved than I anticipated. Some of the video files were created on a Mac. Nothing wrong with Mac files, unless you’re like me and editing on Windows software. That’s where research and time come into play. Blah.  I still haven’t found the one conversion software that will do the job accurately.  It’s choppy and laggy.

Anyway, that’s what’s going on.

Not to mention I spent all day yesterday either in bed or the bathroom.  I couldn’t keep anything in my body.  It was frustrating and uncomfortable.  I’m feeling a little better today but still not 100% strong.

I did an online yoga class the other night. It was great - except my screen saver kept popping up and I had to keep stopping the video to get the full yoga experience. The instructor flew through the poses. I think it was a 90 minute class condensed into 45 minutes.  But effective enough to give me a charlie horse through my entire left leg two days later. Big ouch.

My work hours have slowed down, partially my own fault. I was banking on more hours with one client when I let go of another client. But it sorta didn’t happen.  I had to let go of the other client. I was sitting there, doing nothing for hours at a time. I felt brain dead. Now I wish I just continued to be brain dead. I was getting paid for it. Still, not exactly ethical to charge them for sitting around.

I did get a call from another person who needs my help in the near future. He’s just putting his stuff together, figuring out exactly what he needs. He said “I’m not looking at anyone else. I hope it’s ok that I call you in a couple of weeks.”  Nice guy.

So I’m not panicking (yet).  I’m working enough hours with my two clients to at least float.

What else?  Oh yeah, this one’s kinda big and scary.  I joined a few actors resources websites.  I can read breakdowns and submit my headshot and resume for roles I think suit me.  I’ve always wanted to be a television/film actress.  I gave it up a long time ago.  I’m back around to feeling like I passed up on my number one love.  So I have to try.  And I have to admit I want it.  Meaning, I have to be willing to fail or succeed.  Anything else is just in-between…which is kinda where I’ve been for 16 years.

I guess that’s it for now. Hope you are well. What am I missing in the blogosphere? Feel free to link-drop in the comments. I know I’ve been MIA in your blogs. I read through my feeder but I know it’s not the same.

I’ve been working like a mad-woman. When I’m not working I’m writing, editing, recording or watching videos. When I’m not doing that, I’m hanging out by our new pool. Kind of an adult-style kiddie-pool. See how the pool got from the store to our backyard. What can I say, we’re having fun!

Did I mention the fun I’m having in pockets of YouTube communities? Some of us follow each other on Twitter. Some are Facebooking and MySpacing. And some have come to my blog (hi YouTubers).

My MySpace comments section was receiving too many very large images that warped the alignment of my page. They were also filled with blinkies and other pimped out bling. Because of them, my page was slower to load than usual. MySpace is slow and bogged down as it is. So I disabled the html feature a long time ago.

So, my new friend RavenSinger sent this one to me. It belongs here more than that other place anyway. Thanks Raven. So far it’s been quite an exotic week.

We skated at the beach two days in a row. I’m sore and tired but I feel blessed to be in this town. There’s nothing like the beach on a weekday evening - especially a foggy/cloudy day. We practically had the bike path to ourselves.

Then we stopped for a fresh smoothie at our favorite new place over there. Playa del Rey is becoming my new favorite area around here.

Ahhhh … What a great weekend.  No reason.  Just was.

I struggled yesterday, trying to get my thoughts together for a simple video blog.  I recorded about four different segments.  Just trying to “check in” because it had been a couple of weeks and some friends from the YouTube community were wondering where I’ve been.

It’s just not as easy to record, upload and edit video as it is to post a quick blog entry.  Especially with my older computer and free editing software.  I’m grateful for what I have.  I just can’t do exactly what I want it to do.  Perfectionist.

So I just kept giving up hope of posting a video this weekend.

Then PBX and I hooked up the webcam to send PBX-Jr. a video message and it inspired me to record a quick vlog.  I’ve been inspired to be “quick” before but this was truly a quick vlog.  No editing, no makeup, no notes, very low quality. Total old skool vlogging.  I uploaded it to YouTube and headed out the door to join the Piper-play.  When we came in, it was loaded and live.  Easy-peasy.  The way vlogging, true vlogging, should be.

Now, interestingly, I feel more free.

I can work on my sketch comedy spoofs (I wrote a great one Friday night) and music videos without pressure.  And I can post a new Freeepeace Features — featuring 3 channels I think deserve attention.  So far it’s been a hit with my subscribers.  Because I haven’t posted in a while, they’ve been asking about new features. Slacker.

I really like the pockets of communities I’ve crossed into.  I don’t solely identify with just one YouTube community which is great for the weekly features.  I’m meeting some really interesting people of all ages and videoing styles.  I like that we share our experiences and bounce ideas off each other.  I love love LOVE the collaborative effort.  Some of my future videos will include other YouTubers. Kinda cool.

I’ve also spent a lot of time learning a few cover songs.  Having fun experimenting with styles, tempo and such.  Nothing fancy. Nothing extravagant. Everything creative. Life’s blood.

Went to the beach today with PBX and the dogs.  She biked.  I skated.  The dogs were pulled in a baby trailer behind her bike.  Piper went psycho, wanting to be out running.  Sounded like a seagull … or, a tortured, suffering, dying, screaming child.  We did capture a bit on video but O.M.G. people were scared.  PBX kept telling folks we captured a seagull.  No joke about the similarities in sound.

It cut our bikepath stroll in half.  Hunny did okay in the trailer, for her first time.  She wasn’t happy with it, but she suffers silently, unlike drama queen PiperBoy!  oy.

I haven’t checked the video so I don’t know what was actually captured.  We shall see.

Still it was nice to be out in shorts and a tank top for the first time this year.  Talk about pasty white skin. Ugh.  Can anyone recommend a GOOD no-sun tanning creme?  I’m not a dog walker anymore.  It shows, in more ways than one.

Whoa. Much longer blog post than anticipated.  This is probably why I should update daily.

…in my head.

I get frequent headaches. Could be sinus issues. Could be vision issues. Could be dental issues. Could be stress issues. It’s more likely to be caffeine issues.  Sure, I drink espresso or a cup of coffee every morning.  But by midday (like, now) I tend to get a pressure headache radiating from my temples through my forehead and back, covering my head like a skullcap.

I have been drinking way less soda lately. I figure, I have three clients now and I’m traveling to three different offices throughout the week, so I need to be well and keep my natural strength up.  If I feel the lag I might have some soda but I’ve been able to stay off it all week during the midday lag.  My typical soda consists of 3/4 sprite (or similar, light-colored, non-caffeinated soda) plus 1/4 of diet coke/pepsi.  This usually gives me the caffeine kick I need.

Why not just have a shot of the dark fizzy stuff?  Typically the caramelized dark sodas give me a different kind of headache.  A stabbing-stop-dead-in-my-tracks kind of headache.  I almost feel it rush through my jaw and up my neck before that gashing pain.

So, I’m thinking, why not try to cut it out all together?

Oh wait. I’m remembering why I didn’t cave to the soda crave this past week.  Three of five days were spent at two different offices.  I had coffee in the mornings (free coffee from the office).  On my way to the second office, I made a trip to The Mother Ship for a double-tall non-fat caramel macchiato.  Oh. Hm. And by writing it out and seeing it in print, I wonder if the caramel has an affect on my headaches.  If it’s similar to the caramelized soda that squeezes my nerve endings.

I dunno.

Won’t stop me from getting a double-tall-something-else-or-other.  It’s my one vice. My treat. My life’s blood.

(click images to magnify)

What was I so worried about? I turned forty, had a mini-breakdown and now I see life is just beginning. Forty was like this scary place, looming in the distance. I’d never felt so freaked out about an age. Today I don’t really know why I was. Except that I’m not in my twenties anymore. I do miss some of those days. Some, like maybe five or six.

But now that I’m forty, I see it’s no a big deal at all.

In fact, I’ve since dusted off my Rollerblades and taken to the streets and beaches of Los Angeles. Skating for me is like riding a bike. A little easier, actually. I still feel that tentative, wobbly sensation here and there. I could easily take a flying leap into a heap of sand or a mound of gravel or cracks of the pavement. I’m hyper-aware of that (at all times). But something keeps me going.

I’m fairly comfortable on skates. I sooooo wanna jump and grind but I know that would be a challenge. I hope to build up to it.

Maybe for my 41st birthday.

For now it’s fun to feel the wind in my hair as I glide along with shaky thighs. Damn, I’m out of shape.

Luckily Hunny is older and slower too. When I feel a burst of energy I take Piper ahead for a run. Other than that, it’s a stroll-glide through the neighborhood.

I’ve been working a lot lately. I know I mentioned before that I’m reorganizing my schedule. So far, it still looks like I may have to pull 9-5 days for a while. I can’t tell you how much I hate that. 9am is okay once in a while. Not every day. It wrecks me. So we’ll see how this goes.

I haven’t had time or energy to record or edit videos either. Especially with the issues I’m having with my video editor. Such a drag. Takes three or four times as long just to get through it. It freezes, jumps, crashes, slows down. Almost not worth it. Almost.

I’ll start forcing myself to use the big computer. It’s not as temperamental as my laptop. But most of my videos are ready for editing on my laptop. It’ll take some time to transfer files. Time I just don’t have.

I’m also feeling the urge to be more social. It’s that time of year. I’ve been social online but we get to go to free movie screenings just about every week. There are weekend plans for the next two weeks. Then after that, PBX Jr (vanillawave4peace) will be here and I know we’ll be busy with summer fun! It’s pretty exciting.

We bought an old used HUGE patio table, umbrella, stand and four chairs from craigslist yesterday. Loving it! Now we have eight patio chairs and two camping chairs. We’re almost ready to entertain for the summer. Just need a BBQ and pool and we’ll be all set.

I know, I’m a spaz.

Speaking of…check out this post from Jason Mraz. Sure he’s half-naked (and beautiful) but I’m mostly interested in the whole food juicing pictures he posted. Now THAT’S how I wanna live!!

Time for some greens.

Hmmm…my laptop is making some zapping noises - like a suffering fly buzzing around.

Can’t be good.

Hitting save now.

Oh wait.

Nevermind.

It is a fly.

No worries, for my computer anyway.

The fly, on the other hand, not-so-good.

Poor little guy.

What a week.  I got a birthday text from my buddy Jack:  Being 40 means u make more money and sex gets better. 

So far, he’s right!

I met with a new client yesterday and I’ll start working for her next week.  Today I’m running (driving) to San Diego for a client, to meet a colleague at Starbucks.  No shit, The Mother Ship.  I’m totally on board.

Now my schedule is filling to the brim.  Suddenly this “freelance” lifestyle doesn’t allow me to sleep in anymore.  Time to reorganize my “in office” schedules.  There’s work I’m doing for one client that really doesn’t require my attendance in his office, yet I’m scheduled to be present three half-days a week.  We could easily shift this so that we meet once a week while I get the work done at home.

My new client will need me in her office more regularly than most.  Probably because of specific software.  I don’t mind.  I’m totally not complaining.  I’m actually very excited about all these prospects and future possibilities.

Then there’s my first client, who I totally adore.  I always want to be available for him.  If he could offer me full-time work, I’d jump on the chance.  He’s just not in that place right now.  Perhaps sometime down the road.  But I can’t sit around waiting.  Gotta pay today’s bills.  As a matter of fact, gotta pay yesterday’s bills too.  It’s a little tight around here.

Thanks to 40, I’m making more money.

I’m totally blown away by all this really.  I’ve gotten these calls and leads from the same woman I interviewed with months ago at the doggie daycare place.  She keeps throwing work possibilities my way.  And (so far) they keep working out.  Every time I thank her for thinking of me, it’s like she won’t accept credit.  She likes hooking like-minded people up.  We joke that she’s a little matchmaker.  We keep missing each other in different areas of town but soon I’ll take her to lunch and we’ll get caught up.

Well, gotta hop in the shower and get ready for my drive to San Diego.  At least it’s a beautiful day.  And I’ll get paid for it.

Happy Weekend!

It’s been an interesting birthday weekend.  As excited as I get, I tend to get equally depressed around my birthday. It’s strange really. Either I get anxious about having a gathering or disappointed about not having one.  It’s a set-up. I can’t win.

So I had decided last year that I would have a party for my fortieth, since I haven’t had a party in a while.  One night a couple of weeks ago I told PBX I was bummed about the lack of response (from her) about the possibility of organizing a party for my birthday. She asked what it would be like if we celebrated on Saturday night, since Fridays can be difficult for folks who work all week.

“No, Friday’s my birthday. I want to celebrate on my birthday.”  (what a baby)

Well, apparently PBX and friends were planning a surprise party for Saturday night.  She couldn’t hack the pressure (from me) and gave up the surprise.  She also tried switching the date to Friday night, after folks had already RSVP’d for Saturday.  (gah. I just love her.)

Many already had Memorial Day or other birthday plans and respectfully declined invitations.

A good friend flew in from NH for the weekend.  Friday night came.  Three of us sat in the living room surrounded by fruit, chips, cheese, crackers and Tequila while a case of Corona chilled in the sink.

It felt like Halloween.  Would we get any trick-or-treaters this year?

One friend showed up.  And because it was just the four of us, she was able to bring her big dogs into the house.  (love her, and her dogs!)  We had a wonderful time just talking and laughing.

Still, I can’t help but wonder where everyone was.  I’m not talking about those who contacted me or PBX.  I mean those who said they were coming and left comments on the evite saying how excited they were.  Even the maybes didn’t show.  Ironically, I never expected to see the friend who did show up. That was a lovely surprise.
I’ve written more in my myspace blog.  No link. If you want it, you have to find it. It’s a little raw, vulnerable, personal.  I should post it here but I’m not ready.

I’m exhausted.  Physically, emotionally, spiritually. As if I’ve been knocked out and I’m trying to get up.  Could have something to do with the non-stop activities with our friend in town.  We walked for two hours in very cold winds along a Malibu beach Thursday night.  Friday was spent in Santa Monica - shopping and hair cut.  Friday night was the “party” at our place.  And we spent the entire day Saturday on Venice Beach.

I recorded a cover song today and started a video.  But really, I mostly stayed in PJs.  The only exercise I got today was kicking the ball for Piper later this evening.   Now that I’ve been active, my body wants to keep moving.  But it also aches and is weighted down with fatigue.

What is this, forty?